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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 5, Issue 7: Tue, Sep. 05, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Diving in the water







2. Warranty on knives















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Diving in the water















One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world







twenty ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at







the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba







gear whatsoever. 















The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy







joined him a few minutes later. The diver went







down to 60 ft, but minutes later, the same guy







joined him. This confused the diver, so he took







out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote,







"How the heck are you able to stay under this







deep without equipment?" 















The guy took the board and chalk, erased what







the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING,







YOU MORON!"















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2. Warranty on knives















I bought a set of Ginzu knives for only three







easy payments of $29.95 and they came with a







lifetime guarantee. When the handles fell off,







I returned the knives with my lifetime guarantee







asking for a refund. 















They wrote back saying, "The guarantee was for







the lifetime of the knives. Obviously, the







knives are dead, so the guarantee is no longer







valid."















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