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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 5, Issue 6: Mon, Sep. 04, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. The minister's horse







2. Car hitting the pig















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. The minister's horse















There's this guy who had been lost and walking







in the desert for about two weeks. One hot day,







he sees the home of a missionary.  Tired and







weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses







on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and







nurses him back to health.















Feeling better, the man asks the missionary







for directions to the nearest town. On his







way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He







goes back into the house and asks the







missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and







give it back when I reach the town?"















The missionary says, "Sure but there is a 







special thing about this horse. You have to







say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to







make it stop." 















Not paying much attention, the man says,







"Sure, ok." So he gets On the horse and







says, "Thank God" and the horse starts







walking. Then he say, "Thank God, thank







God, " and the horse starts trotting.















Feeling really brave, the man say, "Thank







God, thank God, thank God, thank God,







thank God" and the horse just takes off. 















Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and







he's doing everything he can to make the horse







stop. "Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!" Finally he







remembers, "Amen!!" 















The horse stops four inches from the cliff.







The man leans back in the saddle and says,







"Thank God". 















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2. Car hitting the pig















Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising







along a country road one night when all of







a sudden they hit a pig, killing it







instantly. 















Bill told his driver to go up to the farm







house and explain to the owner what had







happened. 















About one hour later Bill sees his driver







staggering back to the car with a bottle of







wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and







a thousand dollars in cash sticking out of







his pocket. 















"What happened to you?", asked Bill. 















"Well, the farmer gave me the wine, his wife







gave me the cigar and his son gave me a







thousand dollars in cash." 















"Wow, what did you tell them?", asked Clinton. 















The driver replies, "I'm Bill Clinton's







driver, and I just killed the pig." 















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