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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 4, Issue 4: Thu, Aug. 17, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Blonde on the road







2. Always arguing







3. I'll do anything















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Blonde on the road















A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. 















Blonde, "I'm on the road a lot, and my







clients are complaining that they can







never reach me." 















Psychiatrist, "Don't you have a phone in







your car?" 















Blonde, "That was a little too expensive,







so I did the next best thing. I put a







mailbox in my car." 















Psychiatrist, "Uh ... How's that







working?" 















Blonde, "Actually, I haven't gotten any







letters yet." 















Psychiatrist, "And why do you think that







is?" 















Blonde, "I figure its because when I'm







driving around, my zip code keeps







changing."















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2. Always arguing















A man and woman are having marriage







problems, and decide to end their union







after a short time together. After a most







brief attempt to reconcile, the couple







goes to court to finalize their break-up. 















The judge asks the husband, "What has







brought you to the point that you are now







at, where you are not able to keep this







marriage together?" 















The husband says, "In the six weeks we've







been together, we haven't been able to







agree on one thing. 















The wife says, "Seven weeks, your honor!"















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3. I'll do anything















A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an







after-work cocktail when an exceptionally







gorgeous young woman entered. She was so







striking that the man could not take his







eyes away from her. The young woman noticed







his overly-attentive stare & walked directly







toward him.















Before he could offer his apologies for







being so rude, the young woman said







to him, 'I'll do anything, absolutely







anything, that you want me to do, no







matter what it is, for $100 on one







condition.'















Flabbergasted, the man asked what the







condition was.















The young woman replied, 'You have to tell







me what you want me to do in just three







words.'















The man considered her proposition for a







moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket &







slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he







pressed into the young woman's hand.















He looked deeply into her eyes & slowly,







meaningfully said, 'Paint my house.'















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