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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *
* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *
* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Vol. 4, Issue 3: Wed, Aug. 16, 2000 *
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes
# I N T O D A Y ' S I S S U E
1. An overturned wagon
2. Before and after marriage
3. You're really broke
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# J O K E S F O R T O D A Y
1. An overturned wagon
A farm boy accidentally overturned his
wagonload of wheat on the road. The farmer
that lived nearby came to investigate.
"Hey, Willis," he called out, "forget
your troubles for a while and come and
have dinner with us. Then I'll help you
overturn the wagon."
"That's very nice of you," Willis
answered, "but I don't think Dad would
like me to."
"Aw, come on, son!" the farmer insisted.
"Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, "but
Dad won't like it."
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked
the host. "I feel a lot better now, but
I know Dad's going to be real upset."
"Don't be silly!" said the neighbor.
"By the way, where is he?"
"Under the wagon," replied Willis.
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2. Before and after marriage
Before marriage - You take my breath
away
After marriage - I feel like I'm
suffocating
Before marriage - She says she loves
the way I take control of the situation
After marriage - She called me a
controlling, manipulative egomaniac
Before marriage - Saturday Night Fever
After marriage - Monday Night Football
Before marriage - He makes me feel like
a million dollars
After marriage - If I had a dime for
every stupid thing he's done...
Before marriage - The Sound of Music
After marriage - The Sound of Silence
Before marriage - It's like I'm in a dream
After marriage - It's like he's in a dorm
Before marriage - $60/dozen
After marriage - $1.50/stem
Before marriage - We agree on everything!
After marriage - Doesn't she have a mind
of her own?
Before marriage - Charming and Noble
After marriage - Chernobyl
Before marriage - Ideal
After marriage - Idle
Before marriage - I love a woman with
curves
A- I never said you were fat
Before marriage - He's completely lost
without me
After marriage - Why won't he ever ask
for directions?
Before marriage - Time stood still
After marriage - This relationship is
going nowhere
Before marriage - Croissant and cappuccino
After marriage - Bagel and instant
Before marriage - Blind
After marriage - Nearsighted
Before marriage - You look so seductive in
black
After marriage - Your clothes are so
depressing
Before marriage - Iambic Pentameter
After marriage - Blank Verse
Before marriage - Oysters
After marriage - Fishsticks
Before marriage - I can hardly believe we
found each other
After marriage - I can't believe I ended up
with someone like you
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3. You're really broke
1. American Express calls and says: "Leave
home without it!"
2. Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking
a deep breath outside a restaurant. You're
formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
3. You've rolled so many pennies, you've
formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.
4. Long distance companies don't call you
to switch anymore.
5. You look at your roommate and see a large
fried chicken in tennis shoes.
6. You finally clean your house, hoping
to find change.
7. You think of a lottery ticket as an
investment.
8. Your bologna has no first name.
9. You give blood everyday ... just for
the orange juice.
10. Sally Struther's sends you food.
11. McDonald's supplies you with all your
kitchen condiments.
12. At communion you go back for seconds.
13. Your rob Peter...and then rob Paul.
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# S I T E L I N K S
Web site: Http://www.AhaJokes.com/
Terms: Http://www.AhaJokes.com/terms.html
Contact: Webmaster@AhaJokes.com
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