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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 4, Issue 2: Tue, Aug. 15, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Repairing the stairs







2. Lawsuits in America







3. Parrots with insults















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Repairing the stairs















The congregation of a small stone church







decided that the stone which formed the step







up to the front door had become too worn by







its years of use, and would have to be







replaced.















Unfortunately, there were hardly any







funds available for the replacement. Then







someone came up with the bright idea that







the replacement could be postponed for many







years by simply turning the block of stone







over.















They discovered that their great-grandparents







had beaten them to it.















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2. Lawsuits in America















An American attorney had just finished a







guest lecture at a law school in Italy when







an Italian lawyer approached him and asked,







"Is it true that a person can fall down on







a sidewalk in your country and then sue the







landowners for lots of money?"















Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to







his partner and started speaking rapidly in







Italian. When they stopped, the American







attorney asked if they wanted to go to







America to practice law.















"No, no," one replied. "We want to go to







America and fall down on sidewalks."















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3. Parrot with insults















A lady was walking down the street to work and







she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet







store. The parrot said to her, "Hey, lady, you







are really ugly." Well, the lady was furious!







She stormed past the store to her work.















On the way home, she saw the same parrot and it







said to her, "Hey, lady, you are really ugly."







She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the







same parrot again said to her, "Hey, lady, you







are really ugly."















The lady was so ticked that she went into the







store and said that she would sue the store and







kill the bird. The store manager apologized







profusely and promised he would make sure the







parrot didn't say it again.















When the lady walked past the store that day







after work, the parrot called to her, "Hey,







lady."















She paused and said, "Yes?"















The bird said, "You know."















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# S I T E  L I N K S















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