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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 2, Issue 8: Wed, Aug. 2, 2000    *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. A joke for the married







2. Payment for your losses















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1. Payment for your losses















A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch,







hit and killed a calf that was crossing







the road. The driver went to the owner







of the calf and explained what had







happened. He then asked what the animal







was worth. 















"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher.







"But in six years it would have been







worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." 















The motorist sat down and wrote out a







check and handed it to the farmer. 















"Here," he said, "is the check for $900.







It's postdated six years from now." 















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2. The penny scale















A husband stepped on one of those penny







scales that tell you your fortune and







weight and dropped in a coin. 















"Listen to this," he said to his wife,







showing her a small, white card. "It







says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful







and a great person." 















"Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has







your weight wrong, too." 















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