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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 2, Issue 7: Tue, Aug. 1, 2000    *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Question and answer lawyer jokes







2. Going to the shoe repair shop







3. Get a part in the school play















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Question and answer lawyer jokes















Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well







   hung?







A: You can't get a finger between the







   rope and his neck!























Q: If you are stranded on a desert







   island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the







   Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun







   with only two bullets, what do you do?







A: Shoot the lawyer twice.























Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at







   the bottom of the ocean?







A: A good start!























Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is







   lying?







A: His lips are moving.























Q: What's the difference between a dead







   dog in the road and a dead lawyer in







   the road?







A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.















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2. Going to the shoe repair shop















Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the







attic one day when he came across a ticket







from the local shoe repair shop. The date







stamped on the ticket showed that it was







over eleven years old. They both laughed







and tried to remember which of them might







have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes







over a decade ago. 















"Do you think the shoes will still be in







the shop?" Arnold asked. 















"Not very likely," his wife said. 















"It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing







the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into







the car, and drove to the store. 















With a straight face, he handed the ticket







to the man behind the counter. With a face







just as straight, the man said, "Just a







minute. I'll have to look for these." He







disappeared into a dark corner at the back







of the shop. 















Two minutes later, the man called out,







"Here they are!" 















"No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's







terrific! Who would have thought they'd







still be here after all this time." 















The man came back to the counter,







empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday,"







he said calmly.















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3. Get a part in the school play















Matt's dad picked him up from school to







take him to a dental appointment. Knowing







the parts for the school play were







supposed to be posted today, he asked his







son if he got a part.















Matt enthusiastically announced that







he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's







been married for twenty years."















"That's great, son. Keep up the good work







and before you know it they'll be







giving you a speaking part."















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# S I T E  L I N K S















Web site: Http://www.AhaJokes.com/







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Contact: Webmaster@AhaJokes.com