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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 5, Issue 9: Thu, Sep. 07, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Van Gogh's Relatives







2. America Online car















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Van Gogh's Relatives















His obnoxious brother.................Please Gogh







His dizzy aunt .......................Verti Gogh







The brother who ate prunes............Gotta Gogh







The grandfather from Yugoslavia.......U Gogh







Brother with bleached white clothes...Hue Gogh







The cousin from Illinois..............Chica Gogh







His magician uncle....................Wherediddy Gogh







His Mexican cousin....................Amee Gogh







The nephew who drove a stage coach....Wellsfar Gogh







The constipated uncle ................Cant Gogh







The ballroom dancing aunt.............Tan Gogh







The bird lover uncle..................Flamin Gogh







His nephew psychoanalyst..............E Gogh







The fruit loving cousin...............Man Gogh







An aunt who taught positive thinking..Wayto Gogh







The little bouncy nephew..............Poe Gogh







A sister who loved disco..............Go Gogh







And his niece who travels in a van....Winnie Bay Gogh















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2. America Online car















1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40







MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer. 















2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW







and fantastic 8-Track tape player. 















3. The car would often refuse to start and







owners would just expect this and try again







later. 















4. The windshield would have an extra dark







tint to protect the driver from seeing better







cars. 















5. AOL would sell the same model car year







after year and claim it's the NEW model. 















6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL







car would just "lock-up" for no apparent







reason. 















7. The AOL car would have a very plain body







style but would have lots'a pretty colors







and lights. 















8. The AOL car would have only one door but







it would have five extra seats for family







members. 















9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car







but must continue to make payments for six







months. 















10. If an AOL car owner received three







parking tickets AOL would take the car off







of them. 















11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone







that can only place calls to other AOL car







cell phones. 















12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding







AOL car owners from driving near other car







dealerships. 















13. AOL car mechanics would have no







experience in car repair. 















14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able







to make other peoples AOL cars stall just







for fun. 















15. It would not be possible to upgrade







your AOL car stereo. 















16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas







that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage. 















17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL







car owner he would wonder, M/F/age? 















18. It would be common for AOL car owners to







divorce just to marry another AOL car owner. 















19. AOL car owners would always claim to be







older or younger than they really are. 















20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel







and AOL would claim no other cars have them. 















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# S I T E  L I N K S















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