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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







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*   Vol. 4, Issue 9: Thu, Aug. 24, 2000   *







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* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Criminal in the house







2. What happened to your father?















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Criminal in the house















One day as Mr. and Mrs. Fulton were sleeping,







an intruder entered into their house. The







intruder put a knife to the neck of the woman







and said, "I like to know the names of my







victims before I kill them, what is your name?" 















"My name is Elizabeth," the woman replied. 















The intruder said, "You remind me of my mother







who was also named Elizabeth, so I can't kill







you." 















The intruder then turned to the husband and







asked, "What is your name?" 















"My name's Phillip, but my friends, well ...







they call me Elizabeth." 















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2. What happened to your father?















The applicant for life insurance was finding







it difficult to fill out the application. The







salesman asked what the trouble was, and the







man said that he couldn't answer the question







about the death of his father. The salesman







wanted to know why.















After some embarrasmment the client explained







that his father had been hanged. 















The salesman pondered for a moment. "Just







write: 'Father was taking part in a public







function when the platform gave way.'" 















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