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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 4, Issue 6: Mon, Aug. 21, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Doctor's advice







2. Difficulty with English















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Doctor's advice















A gentleman was having some physical problems







and his doctor told him that he had to drink







warm water one hour before breakfast. At the







end of a week he returned and the doctor asked







if he was feeling better. The man said that he







actually felt worse. 















"Did you drink warm water an hour before







breakfast each day?" 















"No," replied the man, "All I could handle







was about 15 minutes!" 















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2. Difficulty with English















No wonder the English language is so very







difficult to learn. I sometimes wonder how







we manage to communicate at all! 















We must polish the Polish furniture. 















He could lead if he would get the lead out. 















The farm was used to produce produce. 















It was just a minute prick and over in a







minute. 















There was a bow tied in the ropes on the bow







of the ship. 















We would probably read more Shakespeare if we







understood what we read. 















The dump was so full that it had to refuse







more refuse. 















The soldier decided to desert in the desert. 















This was a good time to present the present. 







(And this last could mean "gift" or "era of







time ") 















A bass was painted on the head of the bass







drum. 















When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 















I did not object to the object. 















The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 















His mistake was putting his left foot forward







while putting. 















The bandage was wound around the wound. 















She could not live with a live mouse in the







house. 















There was a row among the oarsmen about how







to row. 















They were too close to the door to close it. 















The buck does funny things when the does are







present. 















They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in







the sewer line. 















We would probably read more Shakespeare if we







understood what we read. 















To help with planting, the farmer taught his







sow to sow. 















The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 















After a number of injections my jaw got







number. 















Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a







tear. 















I had to subject the subject to a series of







tests. 















How can I intimate this to my most intimate







friend? 















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