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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 3, Issue 5: Fri, Aug. 11, 2000    *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Appreciating a wife







2. Pilots in the sky







3. Blondes on the bus















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Appreciating a wife















One day a man comes home from work to find







total mayhem at home. The kids were outside,







still in their pajamas, playing in the mud







and muck. There were empty food boxes and







wrappers all around. As he proceeded into







the house, he found an even bigger mess.















Dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on







the floor, a broken glass under the table,







and a small pile of sand by the back door.







The family room was strewn with toys and







various items of clothing, and a lamp had







been knocked over. 















He headed up the stairs, stepping over







toys, to look for his wife. He was







becoming worried that she may be ill, or







that something had happened to her. He found







 her in the bedroom, still in bed with her







pajamas on, reading a book. 















She looked up at him, smiled, and asked







how his day went. He looked at her







bewildered and asked, "What happened here







today?" 















She again smiled and answered, "You know







everyday when you come home from work and







ask me what I did today?" 















"Yes," was his reply. 















She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it!" 















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2. Pilots in the sky















A young guy in a two-engine fighter was







flying escort for a B-52 and generally







being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog,







flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.















The hotdog said over the air, "Anything you







can do, I can do better." 















The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this







hot-shot." 















The B-52 continued its flight, straight and







level. 















Perplexed, the hotdog asked, "So? What did







you do?" 















"I just shut down two engines, kid." 















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3. Blondes on the bus















Two blondes are waiting on a bus stop, when







a bus pulls up and opens the door. One of







the blondes leans inside and asks the







driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th







Avenue?" 















The bus driver shakes his head and says,







"No, I'm Sorry." 















At this the other blonde leans inside,







smiles and twitters: "Will it take ME?" 















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