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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







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*   Vol. 3, Issue 3: Wed, Aug. 9, 2000    *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Where's your homework?







2. Dislike of lawyers















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Where's your homework?















"Vernon, where's your homework?" Miss







Martin said sternly to the little boy







while holding out her hand. 















"My dog ate it," was his solemn response. 















"Vernon, I've been a teacher for eighteen







years. Do you really expect me to believe







that?" 















"It's true, Miss Martin, I swear,"







insisted the boy. "I had to force him,







but he ate it!" 















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2. Dislike of lawyers















I was on a panel for prospective jury







duty. The first lawyer questioning us







began right off as an intimidating showman. 















After several questions, he asked, "Do







any of you here today dislike lawyers?"







There was an awkward silence. 















Before the pause became too long, the







judge announced, "I do." 















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