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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 2, Issue 1: Mon, Jul. 24, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E







# Newsletter summary: Top lists















1. Too much time on the Web







2. TV better than the Web















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Too much time on the Web















Top Ten Signs that you are Webbed Out















10) Your opening line is, "So what's your







home page address?"















9) Your best friend is someone you have







never met.















8) You see a beautiful sunset, and you







half expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape







1.1" on one of the clouds.















7) You are overcome with disbelief, anger







and finally depressed when you encounter







a Web page with no links.















6) You feel driven to consult the "Cool







Page of the Day" on your wedding day.















5) You are driving on a dark and rainy







night when you hydroplane on puddle,







sending your car careening toward the







flimsy guard rail that separates you







from the precipice of a rocky cliff and







death. You look for the "Back"







button.















4) You visit "The Really Big Button that







Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and







again.















3) Your dog has his own Web page.















2) So does your hamster.















... And the No. 1 sign that you have







overdosed on the WWW:















1) When you read a magazine, you have an







irresistible urge to click on the







underlined passages.















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2. TV better than the Web















Top 10 reasons why TV is better than







the World Wide Web















10) It doesn't take minutes to build the







picture when you change TV channels.















9) When was the last time you tuned in







to "Melrose Place" and got a "Not Found







404" message?















8) There are fewer grating color schemes







on TV -- even on MTV.















7) The family never argues over which







Web site to visit this evening.















6) A remote control has fewer buttons







than a keyboard.















5) Even the worst TV shows never excuse







themselves with an "Under Construction"







sign.















4) Seinfeld never slows down when a lot







of people tune in.















3) You just can't find those cool Health







Rider infomercials on the Web.















2) Set-top boxes don't beep and whine







when you hook up to HBO.















....and the number 1 reason TV is







better than the Web:















1) You can't surf the Web from a couch







with a beer in one hand and Doritos







in the other.















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