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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 1, Issue 10: Fri, Jul. 21, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E







# Newsletter summary: Ethnic jokes















1. Eating the piece of fruit







2. Competition of a nation







3. Question and answer















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Eating the piece of fruit















Two Polish guys were taking their first train







trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came







down the corridor selling bananas which they'd







never seen before. Each bought one.















The first one eagerly peeled the banana and







bit into it just as the train went into a







tunnel. When the train emerged from the







tunnel, he looked across to his friend and







said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you." 















"Why not?" 















"I took one bite and went blind for half a







minute." 















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2. Competition of a nation















The Americans and Russians at the height of







the arms race realized that if they continued







in the usual manner they were going to blow







up the whole world. 















One day they sat down and decided to settle







the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd







have five years to breed the best fighting







dog in the world and whichever side's dog won







would be entitled to dominate the world. The







losing side would have to lay down its arms.







The Russians found the biggest meanest







Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and







bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian







wolves. They selected only the biggest and







strongest puppy from each litter, killed his







siblings, and gave him all the milk he wanted.







The used steroids and trainers and after five







years came up with the biggest meanest dog







the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel







bars that were five inches thick and nobody







could get near it. 















"When the day came for the fight, the







Americans showed up with a strange animal.







It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone







felt sorry for the Americans because they







knew there was no way that this dog could







possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. 















"When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund







came out and wrapped itself around the outside







of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost







completely surrounded. When the Russian dog







leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck,







the Dachshund leaned up and consumed the







Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing







left at all of the Russian dog. 















The Russians came up to the Americans shaking







their heads in disbelief. `We don't understand







how this could have happened. We had our best







people working for five years with the meanest







Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and







the biggest meanest Siberian wolves." 















"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had







our best plastic surgeons working for five years







trying to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.'" 















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3. Question and answer















Q: Did you hear about the Irishman who was







   tap dancing?







A: He broke his ankle when he fell into







   the sink. 















Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the







   summertime?







A: Paddy O'Furniture! 















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