Holiday Jokes

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It's to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains.


When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said,


"I'm meetin' me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?"




Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk.


Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!"


"I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"