Holiday Jokes

Murphy said to his daughter, "I want you home by eleven o'clock."


She said, "But Father, I'm no longer a child!"


He said, "I know, that's why I want you home by eleven."




MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by.


"What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon.


"Fishin'," said MacAndrews.


"Caught anything?"


"Ach, nae a bite,"


"What are ye usin' fer bait?"


"Worms"


"Let me see it," said O'Bannon.


MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out.


"Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon.


"No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"