Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: We don't know. They never get past the feasibility study.




Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle... and one to change the bulb.




Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 24 1/8, but that's down 3/8 from yesterday.




Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).




Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.




Q: How many Paul Daniels does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. "And that's magic !"




Q: How many Will Rogers' does it take to change a dead light bulb?

A: None. He never met a dead light bulb he didn't like.




Q: How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb in San Francisco?

A: Both of them.