Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many unix programmers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Only one, but if you forget to tell him "2]" he'll mash both the live and dead bulbs into the same socket at once.




Q: How many Unix Support staff does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Read the man page!




Q: How many software vendors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None: You have to do it yourself, pay them $99 for the privilege, and re-wire your sockets to suit the new bulb.




Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).




Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.




Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number of one of their subordinates to actually change it.




Q: How many VMS heads does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: All of them, and they will all scream at you in unison and tell you that the only lightbulb you can use is a 100-watt soft white but you can use any 100-watt soft white as long as it's manufactured by DEC.




Q: How many VMS heads does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: "Errr... Well, I've got a patch that I could apply to it, but if you can just wait till next year, it'll all be fixed when we upgrade to lightbulb version 6.1..."