Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Why does it *have* to be changed?




Q: How many New Historicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None-historical forces will do it. The bulb-screwer is a relatively modern invention.




Q: How many folklorists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Ten. One to change it and nine to document it.




Q: How many deconstructionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: It doesn't matter. Even if the bulb is screwed in, it will always be flickering, however faintly, so it really hasn't worked. It is incapable of delivering uninterrupted light.




Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Twelve. Four to form a Parliamentary study committee to decide how to solve the problem, one Francophone to complain that I didn't translate this joke into French, one Native Canadian to protest that the interests of Native Canadians have been overlooked, one woman from the National Action Committee On the Status Of Women to say that women have been underrepresented in the process, one to go over the border to the Niagara Falls Factory Outlet Mall and buy a new bulb and not pay duty on it on the way back, one to actually screw it in, one to collect taxes on the whole procedure so the government can afford it, one to buy a case of Molson for everybody to drink, and one to drop the puck.




Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None, they get an American to do it since they are so dammed proud they know how to do it.




Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Four. One to spray green paint onto the bulb so noone bashes it with a big stick, one to change it, one to suggest they all roll a log down a hill to celebrate, and one to invite all the others round to his log cabin so they can all watch his moose moult.




Q: How many Canadians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Five. One to screw in the bulb and the other four to call out "Get Back!, Get Back!".