Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many Lacanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three-one to do it, one to desire it, and the ignorant Other.




Note: Jacques Lacan (1901-82) was a prominent French psychoanalyst and theorist who is very influential with literary critics at the moment. This relates to his theories.)




Q: How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It depends whether the switch is on or off.




Q: How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb?

A: If the switch is off, one. If the switch is on, any number, until one of them figures out to turn it off.




Q: How many deaf blind people does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Depends on whether or not you can get them to notice the darkness...




Q: How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I don't know, but I can look it up for you.




Q: How many cataloguers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but the Library of Congress has to do it first.




Q: How many NBC news producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three, one to drill a hole in the light bulb so it blows up when he turns it on, one to film it, and one to insist on the truth of the report despite the manipulation.




Q: How many Supreme Court Justices does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Nine-three to form a plurality, two to concur in part, two to dissent one to concur in part and dissent in part with the plurality opinion, and the last to concur with the dissenters in part.