Lawyer Jokes

Q: How can you tell a lawyer is lying?

A: Other lawyers look interested.




Q: Why should lawyers wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?

A: Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors.




Q: What happened to the banker who went to law school?

A: Now she’s a loan shark.




Q: Where do vampires learn to suck blood?

A: Law school.




Q: How do you define double jeopardy?

A: When a lawyer calls in her partner.




Q: What do you get when you cross a librarian with a lawyer?

A: All the information you need, but you can’t understand a word of it.




Q: What's worse than pleading guilty to murder?

A: Getting jail time and getting robbed--hiring an attorney to defend you.




Q: What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?

A: You always hear about them, but you never see them.