Lawyer Jokes

Q: How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

A: Never enough.




Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: How many can you afford?




Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?

A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.




Q: What's the difference between a law firm and a circus?

A: At a circus, the clowns don't charge the public by the hour.




Q: Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in an accident?

A: An ambulance stopped suddenly.




Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.




Q: What do lawyers do after they die?

A: They lie still.