Lawyer Jokes

Q: When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?

A: Because deep down, they're really nice guys.




Q: If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?

A: Who cares?



Q: How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?

A: The vultures aren't gagging over the skunk.




Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.




Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.




Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.




Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.