Lawyer Jokes

Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in wet cement?

A: Not enough cement.



Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?

A: Yeah, it comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.




Q: What's the problem with lawyer jokes?

A: Lawyer's don't think they're funny, and no one else thinks they're jokes.




Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.




Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?

A: In the cemetery.




Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?

A: At the city morgue.




Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes Benz full of lawyers?

A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.