Animal Jokes

Which fish can perform operations?


A Sturgeon!





Where do little fishes go every morning?


To plaice school!





What fish goes up the river at 100mph?


A motor pike!





How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?


He prawned everything!





1st kipper: 'Smoking's bad for you'

2nd kipper: 'It's OK, I've been cured'




What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?


Skate!





What do you call a fish with no eyes?


Fsh!





What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?


A hermit crab!





What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?


As far away as possible!





Why did the whale cross the road?


To get to the other tide!