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* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







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*   Vol. 7, Issue 03: Wed, Sep. 27, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Story of King Solomon







2. Working too hard















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Story of King Solomon















Two women came before wise King Solomon,







dragging between them a young man in a







three-piece suit. 















"This young lawyer agreed to marry my







daughter," said one.















"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,"







said the other. 















And so they haggled before the King







until he called for silence. 















"Bring me my biggest sword," said







Solomon, "and I shall hew the young







attorney in half. Each of you shall







receive a half." 















"Sounds good to me," said the first







lady. 















But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do







not spill innocent blood. Let the other







woman's daughter marry him." 















The wise king did not hesitate a moment.







"The attorney must marry the first







lady's daughter," he proclaimed. 















"But she was willing to hew him in







two!" exclaimed the king's court. 















"Indeed," said wise King Solomon.







"That shows she is the TRUE







mother-in-law." 















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2. Working too hard















For a couple years I've been blaming it on







lack of sleep and too much pressure from my







job, but now I found out the real reason: 















I'm tired because I'm overworked. 















The population of this country is 237







million. 















104 million are retired. 















That leaves 133 million to do the work. 















There are 85 million in school, which leaves







48 million to do the work. 















Of this there are 29 million employed by







the federal government, leaving 19 million







to do the work. 















2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which







leaves 16.2 million to do the work. 















Take from the total the 14,800,000 people







who work for State and City Governments and







that leaves 1.4 million to do the work. 















At any given time there are 188,000 people







in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the







work. 















Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.







That leaves just two people to do the work. 















You and me. 















And you're sitting at your computer reading







jokes! 















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