* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 6, Issue 04: Thu, Sep. 14, 2000  *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. Time is relative







2. Chased by a bear















# E D I T O R ' S  T H O U G H T S















Have a great joke or real-life funny







story to share? Please send it to us!







If we like it, we'll include it in







the Laughing Gas joke newsletter and







give you credit for your hilarious







contribution.















Thanks in advance, and until then, we







hope you enjoy the joke newsletter.







Have a great weekend!















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. Time is relative















On some air bases the Air Force is on one side







of the field and civilian aircraft use the other







side of the field, with the control tower in the







middle. One day on just such a field the tower







received a call from an aircraft asking, "What







time is it?"















The tower responded, "Who is calling?"















The aircraft replied, "What difference does it







make?"















The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.







If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3







o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours.







If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it







is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12







and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a







Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon.







If it's National Guard, it's still a couple of







hours until quitting time."















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2. Chased by a bear















Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in







the cabin, the other went out looking for a







bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but







only wounded it.















When the enraged bear charged toward him, he







dropped his rifle and started running for the







cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast







but the bear was just a little faster and gained







on him with every step. Just as he reached the







open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.















Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over







him and went rolling into the cabin.















The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and







yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this







one while I go and get another!"















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