* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Welcome to the Laughing Gas Newsletter! *







* A free and clean comedy newsletter sent *







* to e-mail subscribers five times a week *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







*   Vol. 5, Issue 1: Mon, Aug. 28, 2000   *







* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *







* Joke newsletter issued by Aha! Jokes















# I N  T O D A Y ' S  I S S U E















1. I have bad and very bad news







2. Please be standing















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# J O K E S  F O R  T O D A Y















1. I have bad and very bad news















Doctor: I have some bad news and some







very bad news.















Patient: Well, might as well give me the







bad news first.















Doctor: The lab called with your test







results. They said you have 24 hours to live.















Patient: 24 hours! That's terrible! What







could be worse? What's the very bad news?















Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since







yesterday.















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2. Please be standing















"If there are any idiots in the room, will







they please stand up," said the sarcastic







teacher.















After a long silence, one freshman rose to







his feet.















"Now then mister, why do you consider







yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher







with a sneer.















"Well, actually I don't," said the student,







"but I hate to see you standing up there







all by yourself.".















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# S I T E  L I N K S















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