Computer Jokes

User

(To the tune of Beck's "Loser")




In the day of sysop nerds I was a flunkie

Jolt in my brains and body feeling chunky

With the plastic mouse balls spray paint the Commodore

System install with the hard drive on the floor




Kill the process and put it in /dev/null

Email flaming with the user hitting D-control

Shell's called Reno and it's written in C

Got a couple of xterms, keys set to repeat




Root came sayin' I'm insane to complain

About an online wedding and a stain on my screen

Don't believe everything that you make(1)

You get a cracker from Europe and a login that's fake




So write your code in Perl in the dark

Saving all your hacks for working at a tech park

Yo - punch it




So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(Double dense floppy)

So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?




Forces of evil in a MUD/MOO nightmare

Ban all the members in a phony #chat channel 'cause

One's got a handle and the other's got a .plan

One online spammed the other and ran




With the FTP and the insane print job

The daytime crap of the alt.test slob

He hung himself with a call to ping

Twenty milliseconds and it's spitting out another string




RTFM if you can't relate

Trade the Sun for a car and the Web for a date

And MIME is a nifty hack for mailing to a newbie

That's choking on my MPEGs




So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(Get crazy with the caps lock)

So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(Drive-by BIFF post)




...

Yo, bring it on down

...

I'm a hacker, I'm a winner

Program's gonna work, I can feel it




So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(I can't retrieve you)

So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(NULL)




So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(Sprecken sie DOS, eh, baby)

So - dumping core

I'm a user, baby, so why don't you kill(1) me?

(Know what I'm typin'?)




-- Kevin Hughes * kevinh@eit.com