Computer Jokes

Twas the night before crisis,

And all through the house,

Not a program was working,

Not even a browse.




Programmers were wrung out,

Too mindless to care,

Knowing chances of cutover

Hadn't a prayer.




The users were nestled

All snug in their beds,

While visions of inquiries

Danced in their heads.




When out in the lobby

There arose such a clatter,

That I sprang from my tube

To see what was the matter.




And what to my wondering

Eyes should appear,

But a Super Programmer,

Oblivious to fear.




More rapid than eagles,

His programs they came

And he whistled and shouted

And called them by name.




On Update! On Add!

On Inquiry! On Delete!

On Batch Jobs! On Closing!

On Functions Complete!




His eyes were glazed over,

His fingers were lean,

From weekends and nights

Spent in front of a screen.




A wink of his eye,

And a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know

I had nothing to dread.




He spoke not a word,

But went straight to his work,

Turning specs into code,

Then he turned with a jerk.




And laying his fingers

Upon the ENTER key,

The system came up,

And worked perfectly!




The updates updated;

The deletes they deleted;

The inquiries inquired;

And the closing completed.




He tested each whistle,

He tested each bell,

With nary an abend,

And all had gone well.




The system was finished,

The tests were concluded,

The client's last changes

Were even included!




And the client exclaimed,

With a snarl and a taunt,

"It's just what I asked for,

But it's not what I want!"