Business Jokes

A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.


Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.


Active socially: Drinks heavily.


Alert to company developments: An office gossip.


Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.


Average: Not too bright.


Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.


Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.


Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.


Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.


Conscientious and careful: Scared.


Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.


Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.


Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.


Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.


Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.


Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.


Enjoys job: Needs more to do.


Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations: Ignores everyone.


Excels in the effective application of skills: Makes a good cup of coffee.


Exceptionally well qualified: Has committed no major blunders to date.


Expresses self well: Can string two sentences together.


Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike: A coward.


Happy: Paid too much.


Hard worker: Usually does it the hard way.


Identifies major management problems: Complains a lot.


Indifferent to instruction: Knows more than superiors.


Internationally know: Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.


Is well informed: Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.


Inspires the cooperation of others: Gets everyone else to do the work.


Is unusually loyal: Wanted by no-one else.


Judgement is usually sound: Lucky.


Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes.


Keeps informed on business issues: Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.


Listens well: Has no ideas of his own.


Maintains a high degree of participation: Comes to work on time.


Maintains professional attitude: A snob.


Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.


Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.


Not a desk person: Did not go to college.


Of great value to the organization: Turns in work on time.


Use all available resources: Takes office supplies home for personal use.


Quick thinking: Offers plausible excuses for errors.


Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment: Lazy and hard-headed.


Should go far: Please.


Slightly below average: Stupid.


Spends extra hours on the job: Miserable home life.


Stern disciplinarian: A real jerk.


Straightforward: Blunt and insensitive.


Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.


Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut.


Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress: Buys drinks for superiors.


Takes pride in work: Conceited.


Unlimited potential: Will stick with us until retirement.


Uses resources well: Delegates everything.


Uses time effectively: Clock watcher.


Very creative: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.


Visionary: Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.


Well organized: Does too much busywork.


Will go far: Relative of management.


Willing to take calculated risks: Doesn't mind spending someone else's money.


Zealous attitude: Opinionated.