Holiday Jokes

NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'T
BE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD




16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!


15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.


14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"




13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.


12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.


11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.




10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.


9. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.


8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.




7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.


6. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.


5. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*




4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...


3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.


2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.


1. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.