Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None -- He'll only promise "change."




Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?

A: He doesn't. He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.




Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment.




Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.




Q: How many presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Less and less all the time.




Q: How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?




Q: How many presidential campaign staff does it need to change a light bulb?

A: 220! One to write a speech about how good it will be when the bulb is actually changed, one to write a speech about why the other candidates can't even spell "lightbulbe", eighteen to find out what the other candidates did when the lightbulb failed, and another two hundred to find out what the other candidate's families think about lightbulbs, bulbs, pear-shaped objects, light in general, any form of energy.




Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: (Mike Dukakis) In Massachusetts, my enlightened government has made it unnecessary for people to screw in their own light bulbs, as we have put thousands of former welfare recipients to work for the Dept. of Light Bulb Installation. These employees will come to your home or business and install any incandescent bulb, on only a few months notice.