Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Four--one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.




Q: How many mutants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two thirds.




Q: How many waiters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, even a burned out bulb can't catch a waiter's eye.




Q: How many waitresses does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. Two to stand around complaining about it and one to go get the manager.




Q: How many Contras does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but he doesn't know where it came from.

Note: Topical to the 1987 Iran/Contra hearings.




Q: How many Contras does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but he needs one Iranian, one Israeli, four Canadians, and Arab, twenty Swiss, and Afghan, and Oliver North to help him.

Note: Topical to the 1987 Iran/Contra hearings.




Q: How many loggers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but he uses a chainsaw.




Q: How many loggers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They can't do it, the light will disturb the spotted owls.

Note : Topical to successful environmentalist pressures to stop logging in the NW U.S. to protect the endangered spotted owl species.