Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many seventies disco dancers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Two. One to boogie up the ladder and one to say "Get daaowwwwn !"




Q: How many Chinamen does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.




Q: How many blacks does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three: One to boogie up the ladder, two to keep the beat.




Q: How many Asians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to change it and two to go to the cash & carry.




Q: How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!




Q: How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into the house and smash the old light bulb to bits, fifty to protest the abortion of the old lightbulb, ten to organize a lawn fete and spaghetti dinner at Our Most Holy Precious Blood of the Seventeen Martyred Saints R.C. Church to raise funds to buy a new light bulb (and the Monsignor a new pair of bowling shoes as a gift on St. Stanislaus Day), twenty from Chiavettas Catering to serve the food, twenty to run the Monte Carlo gambling tent, fifty to run everything else, one to go to Koplinskis Appliances to buy the light bulb, one to screw it in, five to say the Rosary as the bulb is being screwed in, and the Monsignor to bless it.




Q: How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: I don't know exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss' secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.




Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan. (Refers to the Italian restaurant habit of sprinkling everything with Parmesan, even though it makes everything smell convincingly of sick.)