Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.




Q: How many Ayatollahs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None-there weren't any light bulbs in the 13th century.




Q: How many Timothy McVeigh's does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but first you have to strip the insulation off of the electrical cord, wrap it around his legs a couple of times, then plug it in. If Mr. McVeigh is holding the light bulb at this time, it should glow quite nicely.




Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty - one to do it and nineteen to develop a distraction.




Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Six. One to change the bulb, and 5 to take the credit when it explodes.




Q: How many terrorists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two: one to stage a suicide attack on the bulb and another to claim responsibility in phone call to the news media.




Q: How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two--one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.




Q: How many members of the P.L.O. does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 45 - One to drive the car, four to shoot the president of Sylvania's bodyguards, three to kidnap the president of Sylvania, five to think up the ransom demands, ten to paste up the ransom note, eight to cut little eye-holes in the cloth sacks, one to drive a truck with 2000 kilos of dynamite into the American embassy, one to claim responsibility for the bombing, and twelve to commandeer a building with working lights.