Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: This can not be computed. Changing light bulbs is a *hardware* problem...




Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. One to change the light bulb and one to make sure the stack of manuals doesn't tip over.




Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, once the documentation for the procedure is found in one of the 15 manuals on the shelf.




Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Well, it depends upon the platform on which one stands!




Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Actually none, if you are willing to close your eyes to the (validity of the) output.




Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It can't be done yet. "Light bulb" is more than 8 characters long.




Note: SAS is a 4GL. It stands for the Statistical Analysis System and is a huge conglomerate of programs and procedures for doing a wide variety of statistical and semi-statistical analyses (not to mention reporting the results, graphing them, etc.). It is infamous for its huge array of thick manuals which are difficult to wade through, and hence one can spend a lot of time trying to find the tiny feature that will do what you want. Cary is the town in North Carolina where SAS Inc is based, and where SAS support staff are.)




Q: How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.