Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many people about to move out of the city does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: They don't bother, the neighborhood's been turning black anyway.




Q: How many humans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Not sure; I only know it takes only one to press the button which obliterates them all. The problem is estimating how many thousand years will be required to rediscover the technology to manufacture more and replace them.




Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.




Q: How many quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: One. Two to do it, and one to renormalise the wave function.




Q: How many quantum physicists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: One: of course. Two to do it, and -1 to renormalise the wave-function. (Explanation - Renormalising the wave function is something that has to be done to a lot of quantum physics calculations to stop the answer being infinity and makes the answer always come out as one.)




Q: How many quantum mechanicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They can't. When they get the socket to hold still, they can't find it.




Q: How many quantum mechanicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: They can't. If they know where the socket is, they cannot locate the new bulb.




Q: How many Heisenbergs does it take to change a light bulb?

A: If you know the number, you don't know where the light bulb is.