Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.




Q: How many Hell's Angels does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one. But do you really want to hang upside down with a light bulb up your ass for asking??




Q: How many referral agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.




Q: How many physiotherapists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.




Q: How many emergency room technicians does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: One, but the bulb will have to spend 45 minutes in the waiting room.




Q: How many NHS hospital staff does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Six. One to diagnose the problem, one to take an X-ray, one to wheel in the replacement on a trolley, one to apply an anaesthetic, one to do the delicate operation, and one to examine the late bulb in a post-mortem.




Q: How many NHS hospital staff does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Six. Person (1) reports bulb is not working and requests a new one. Department supervisor (2) sends order form to maintenance department. Maintenance department clerk (3) decides whether to make it priority case. Job booked. Supervisor (4) decides whether it should be done individually or with other jobs. Order is placed in maintenance man's pigeonhole. Maintenance man (5) fills in ticket describing job. He picks up the parts needed. He goes to scene of faulty lightbulb. He fits bulb or discovers he cannot mend light. He returns to department and reports back. He completes work ticket putting this in writing. Work ticket is checked by maintenance department to see whether order carried out. Then checked to see task completed in time set out under department guidelines. Ticket filed. Member of department (6) checks ticket against department work plan. Details go into department's workload report.




Q: How many body builders/weightlifters does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Four. One to change the lightbulb. One to spot. The other two to stand and yell support (Come on! You can do it! etc...) But they only get three attempts.