Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three-one to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.




Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.




Q: How many members of the England cricket team does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Four. One to change it after 85 overs, one to throw him the new one, one to drop it, and one to get caught rubbing something out of his pocket into it.




Q: How many members of the Pakistan cricket team does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. "The players should only have to play 80 overs in a day. To expect them to do any more would place an unnecessary strain upon them."




Q: How many football managers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Well, it would only take one, but actually he doesn't change it at all if it worked all right for him last time (lest he gets caricatured on the back page of the gutter press.)




Q: How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: Five. One to get into position to screw it in, one to kick the legs out from under him, one to snatch the lightbulb and pass it to his mate who, then goes and screws it in over the other side of the room, and one to roll around on the floor pretending to be really injured.




Q: How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

A: 15 - One to put the bulb in, 10 to kiss him afterwards, and the other side's back four to all stand around and put their hands up.




Q: How many Americal college football players does it take to change a light bulb?

A: The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!