Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many talk show hosts does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three, one to screw in the new bulb, one to ask the old one how it feels to be replaced, and one to take questions from the audience.




Q: How many gun control advocates does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Let the police do it - private citizens can't be trusted with light bulbs !




Q: How many gun control advocates does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: They don't do that; they pass laws against burned-out bulbs, and then they wonder why it's still so dark. Meanwhile, a lot of people get hurt because they can't see.




Q: How many NRA members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three--One to give up the old bulb when they pry it from his cold dead fingers, one to screw it in and pose for an "I'm the NRA" ad while doing so, and one to complain about the waiting period.




Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. Soviet emigres are used to sitting in the dark.




Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, and a lot of light bulbs.




Q: How many Soviet emigres does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. One to force the bulb in with a hammer, one to steal more bulbs, one to ask NYANA for a bigger hammer.