Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many inner-city gang members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four--one to rob the liquor store to get money for the bulb, one to drive the getaway car, one to screw it in, and one to hold his crack pipe while he does it.




Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.




Q: How many ice skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, one to screw in the bulb, one to hire a hitman on club the other skater on the knee.




Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Who who wants to know?




Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just what exactly do you mean by that?




Q: How many movie actresses does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One, but you should've seen the line outside the producer's hotel room.




Q: How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one, but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.