Lightbulb Jokes

Q: How many Dylan fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind.




Q: How many Pet Shop Boys does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Two. One to change it and one to sit around looking bored.




Q: How many heavy metal fans does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to change it and two to say "Excelleeeeeent !"




Q: How many punk rockers does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Two: One to screw in the bulb and the other to smash the old one on his forehead.




Q: How many crusties does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Twelve. Crusty #1 yanks the old bulb out and crusty #2 is just about to put the new one in when crusties #3 and #4 stagger in and start arguing that it's their turn. In the ensuing squabble the bulb gets dropped on the floor and smashes. Then crusty #5 points out what a good laugh this is and so chief crusty (#6) dispatches crusties #7 and #8 to go down the shops to buy a new one. After having visited at least 2 off licences on the way, they find their way into the hardware shop. While crusty #7 is busily trying to buy 6 new bulbs for the princely sum of 10p each and a can of special brew, crusty #8 is busy liberating as many as will fit into his long grey shapeless overcoat's pockets. They are joined on the way back by crusties #9 and #10 whose names they've forgotten but they do at least *sound* familiar, and much frivolous hugging ensues until someone remembers what the trip down the shops was all about. On their way back into the squat they pass crusty #11, who has only just joined the group, and who is just on his way out to go and get his hair crimped. Anyway once inside, the lightbulbs are all smashed on the floor and the stereo is cranked up so the dancing can begin. At this point crusty #12 comes back in from a Levellers gig and collapses in a corner, only to find he is lying on something that makes a noise, which turns out to be the dog, holding the last unsmashed lightbulb in its mouth.