Ethnic Jokes

Never squat with yer spurs on.


There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.


Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.


If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.


Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.


It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.


Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.


Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.


Always drink upstream from the herd.


If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.


Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.


Finally, never miss a good chance to shut up.