Guide Jokes

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say...


"IT'S A GUY THING"


Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."


"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"


Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"


"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"


Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.


"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"


Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."


"TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."


Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."


"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."


Translated:* "Are you still talking?"


"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."


Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car


I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."


"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL."


Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."


"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."


Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."


"I CAN'T FIND IT."


Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."


"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"


Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"


"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."


Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."


"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."


Translated:* "I make the messes; she cleans them up."