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The Guide For Women

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A MAN IS REALLY SAYING:


I'M HUNGRY.

I'm hungry.




I'M SLEEPY.

I'm sleepy.




I'M TIRED.

I'm tired.




I'VE GOTTA GO.

Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.




WHAT'S WRONG?

I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this.




WHAT'S WRONG?

What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?




YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.

I liked it better before.




YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.

$50 and it doesn't look that much different!




YES, I LIKE THE WAY YOU CUT YOUR HAIR.

For $50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!




LET'S TALK, HONEY.

I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.




WILL YOU MARRY ME?

I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.




WILL YOU MARRY ME?

I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks.