Gender Jokes

A MAN'S GUIDE TO WHAT A WOMAN IS REALLY SAYING:


I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.

.... without you in it.




DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?

We haven't had a fight in a while.




NO, PIZZA'S FINE.

.... you cheap slob!




I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.

I just don't want you as a boyfriend now.




I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

I can't believe you have nothing planned.




COME HERE.

My puppy does this, too.




I LIKE YOU, BUT...

I don't like you.




YOU NEVER LISTEN.

You never listen.




I'LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.

I'm ready, but I'm going to make you wait because I know you will.




OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.

I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going dutch.




OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!

Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.




I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.

We're gonna make fun of you and your friends.