New Jersey Jokes

New Jersey Jokes

New Jersey jokes and humor, relating to many aspects of the state, its weather, and its people.



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New Jersey Jokes

New Jersey Jokes

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!


Dumb New Jersey Laws

  • You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only. [Reader Comments on this Law.]
  • On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
  • It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
  • It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
  • If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
  • Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.
  • You may not slurp your soup.
  • Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
  • It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

    Bernards Township

  • It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".

    Caldwell

  • You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.

    Cranford

  • Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.

    Cresskill

  • All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.

    Elizabeth

  • It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.

    Manville

  • It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.

    Newark

  • It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

    Ocean City

  • People may not slurp their soup.
  • Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.
  • Raw hamburger may not be sold.

    Raritan

  • Profanity is prohibited.

    Sea Isle City

  • There will be no boiling of bones on the property.

    Trenton

  • You may not throw a bad pickle in the street.
  • Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.

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