Computer Jokes

AAC Alter All Commands

AAD Alter All Data

AAO Add And Overflow

AAR Alter At Random

AB Add Backwards

ABC AlphaBetize Code

ABR Add Beyond Range

ACC Advance CPU Clock

ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents

ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully

ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time

ADB Another Dumb Bug

AEE Absolve Engineering Errors

AFF Add Fudge Factor

AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary

AFP Abnormalize Floating Point

AFR Abort Funny Routine

AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant

AGB Add GarBage

AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer

AI Add Improper

AIB Attack Innocent Bystander

AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders

AISG Access and Improve Student Grade

AMM Add Mayo and Mustard

AMM Answer My Mail

AMS Add Memory to System

ANC ANnoy Consultant

AOI Annoy Operator Immediate

AR Advance Rudely

AR Alter Reality

ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero

ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero

ARZ Add and Reset to Zero

AS Add Sideways

ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI

AT Accumulate Trivia

AWP Argue With Programmer

AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys

BA Branch Anywhere

BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri

BAD Branch And Die

BAD Branch to Auto Destruct

BAF Blow All Fuses

BAH Branch And Hang

BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger

BAP Branch And Punt

BAW Bells And Whistles

BB Branch on Bug

BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch

BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full

BBD Branch on Bastille Day

BBI Branch on Burned-out Indicator

BBIL Branch on Burned-out Indicator Light

BBLB Branch on Blinking Light Bulb

BBT Branch on Binary Tree

BBW Branch Both Ways

BCB Burp and Clear Bytes

BCF Branch on Chip box Full

BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop

BCR Backspace Card Reader

BCS Branch and Crash System

BCU Be Cruel and Unusual

BD Backspace Disk

BD Branch to Data

BDC Break Down and Cry

BDI Branch to Data Indirect

BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory

BDT Burn Data Tree

BDU Branch on Dense User

BE Branch Everywhere

BEW Branch Either Way

BF Belch Fire

BF Blow Fuse

BF Branch Forever

BFD Branch on Full Disk

BFF Branch and Form Feed

BFM Be Fruitful and Multiply

BH Branch and Hang

BIR Branch Inside Ranch

BIRM Branch on Index Register Missing

BLC Branch and Loop Continuous

BLI Branch and Loop Infinite

BLM Branch, Like, Maybe

BLMWM Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man

BLP Boot from Line Printer

BLR Branch and Lose Return

BLSH Buy Low, Sell High

BLT Break Little Thing

BM Branch Maybe

BMI Blow up Memory Immediate

BMI Branch on Missing Index

BMI Branch to Muncee Immediate

BMP Branch and Make Popcorn

BMR Branch Multiple Registers

BMUS Beam Me Up, Scotty

BNA Branch to Nonexistant Address

BNCB Branch and Never Come Back

BNL Become a Neo-Luddite

BNR Branch for No Reason

BOB Branch On Bug

BOD Beat On Disk

BOD Branch on Operator Desperate

BOH Branch On Humidity

BOH Branch on Operator High

BOHP Bribe Operator for Higher Priority

BOI Byte Operator Immediately

BOP Boot OPerator

BOT Branch On Tree

BPB Branch on Program Bug

BPDI Be Polite, Don't Interrupt

BPIM Bury Programmer In Manuals

BPL Branch PLease

BPM Become a Psych Major

BPO Branch on Power Off

BPO Branch on Power On

BPP Branch and Pull the Plug

BR Byte and Run

BRA Branch to Random Address

BRB BRanch on Beaver

BRH BRanch and Hang

BRI BRanch Indefinitely

BRL BRanch and Leak

BRO BRanch and Overheat

BRO BRanch to Oblivion

BS Behave Strangely

BSC Branch on Second Coming

BSC Burst Selector Channel

BSD BackSpace Disk

BSI Back up Sewer Immediate

BSI Backup Sewer Immediately

BSM Branch and Scramble Memory

BSO Branch on Sleepy Operator

BSP BackSpace Punch

BSR Branch and Stomp Registers

BSS Branch on SunSpot

BSST BackSpace and Stretch Tape

BTD Branch on Time of Day

BTD Byte The Dust

BTI Blow Trumpet Immediately

BTJ Branch and Turn Japanese

BTO Branch To Oblivion

BTW Branch on Third Wednesday

BU Branch Unexpectedly

BUTI Blow Up Terminal Immediately

BVS Branch and Veer South

BW Branch on Whim

BWC Branch When Convenient

BWF Busy, Wait Forever

BWOP BeWilder OPerator

BYDS Beware Your Dark Side

BYTE BYte TEst

CAC Calling All Cars

CAC Cash And Carry

CAF Convert ASCII to Farsii

CAI Corrupt Accounting Information

CAIL Crash After I Leave

CAR Cancel Accounts Receivable

CAT Confused And Tired

CB Consult Bozo

CBA Compare and Branch Anyway

CBBR Crash and Blow Boot Read-only memory

CBNC Close, But No Cigar

CBS Clobber BootStrap

CC Call Calvery

CC Compliment Core

CCB Chocolate Chip Byte-mode

CCB Consult Crystal Ball

CCC Crash if Carry Clear

CCCP Conditionally Corrupt Current Process

CCD Choke Cough and Die

CCD Clear Core and Dump

CCR Change Channels at Random

CCS Chinese Character Set

CCWR Change Color of Write Ring

CD Complement Disk

CDC Clear Disk and Crash

CDC Close Disk Cover

CDIOOAZ Calm Down, It's Only Ones And Zeroes

CDS Change Disk Speed

CEMU Close Eyes and Monkey with User space

CEX Call EXterminator

CF Come From [replaces goto]

CFE Call Field Engineer

CFP Change and Forget Password

CFS Corrupt File Structure

CG Convert to Garbage

CH Create Havoc

CHCJ Compare Haig to Christine Jorgensen

CHPAMR CHase Pointers Around Machine Room

CHSE Compare Half-words and Swap if Equal

CIB Change Important Byte

CIC Cash In Chips

CID Compare and Ignore Data

CIMM Create Imaginary Memory Map

CIZ Clear If Zero

CLBR CLoBber Register

CLBRI CLoBber Register Immediate

CM Circulate Memory

CMD CPU Melt Down

CMD Compare Meaningless Data

CMI Clobber Monitor Immediate

CML Compute Meaning of Life

CMP Create Memory Prosthesis

CMS Click MicroSwitch

CN Compare Nonsensically

CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown

CNS Call Nonexistent Subroutine

COCS Copy Object Code to Source

COD Crash On Demand

COLB Crash for Operator's Lunch Break

COM Clear Operator's Mind

COMF COMe From

CON Call Operator Now

COS Copy Object code to Source file

COWYHU Come Out With Your Hands Up

CP Compliment Programmer

CP%FKM CPU \(em FlaKeout Mode

CP%WM CPU \(em Weird Mode

CPB Create Program Bug

CPN Call Programmer Names

CPPR Crumple Printer Paper and Rip

CRASH Continue Running After Stop or Halt

CRB CRash and Burn

CRD Confirm Rumor by Denial

CRM CReate Memory

CRM Clear Random Memory

CRN Compare with Random Number

CRN Convert to Roman Numerals

CRYPT reCuRsive encrYPt Tape

CS Crash System

CSL Curse and Swear Loudly

CSN Call Supervisor Names

CSNIO Crash System on Next I/O

CSS Crash Subsidiary Systems

CSU Call Self Unconditional

CTDMR Change Tape Density, Mid Record

CTT Call Time and Temperature

CU Convert to Unary

CUC Cheat Until Caught

CVFL ConVert Floating to Logical

CVFP ConVert Fortran to Pascal

CVG ConVert to Garbage

CVU ConVert to Unary

CWAH Create Woman And Hold

CWB Carry With Borrow

CWDC Cut Wires and Drop Core

CWG Chase Wild Goose

CWGK Compare Watt to Genghis Khan

CWIT Compare Watt to Ivan the Terrible

CWM Compare Watt to Mussolini

CWOM Complement Write-Only Memory

CZZC Convert Zone to Zip Code

DA Develop Amnesia

DAB Delete All Bugs

DAC Divide And Conquer

DAD Destroy A-Disk

DAO Divide And Overflow

DAP De-select Active Peripheral

DAUF Delete All Useless Files

DB Drop Bits

DBL Desegregate Bus Lines

DBR DeBase Register

DBTP Drop Back Ten and Punt

DBZ Divide By Zero

DC Degauss Core

DC Divide and Conquer

DCAD Dump Core And Die

DCD Drop Cards Double

DCGC Dump Confusing Garbage to Console

DCI Disk Crash Immediate

DCON Disable CONsle

DCR Double-precision CRash

DCT Drop Cards Triple

DD Destroy Disk

DD Drop Disk

DDC Dally During Calculations

DDOA Drop Dead On Answer

DDS Delaminate Disk Surface

DDT Debug Program

DDWB Deposit Directly in Waste Basket

DEB Disk Eject Both

DEC Decompile Executable Code

DEI Disk Eject Immediate

DEM Disk Eject Memory

DFA Disable FAns

DGO Decrement the Grades of Others

DGT Dispense Gin and Tonic

DHTPL Disk Head Three Point Landing

DIA Develop Ineffective Address

DICE Delete Invalid Customer Engineer

DIE DIsable Everything

DIF DIsable Fuses

DIG DIsable Gravity

DIH Disable Interrupts and Hang

DIRFO Do It Right For Once

DISC DISmount CPU

DK Destroy Klingons

DKP Disavow Knowledge of Programmer

DLN Don't Look Now

DLP Drain Literal Pool

DMAG Do MAGic

DMNS Do what i Mean, Not what i Say

DMP Destroy Memory Protect key

DMPE Decide to Major in Phys. Ed.

DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key

DMZ Divide Memory by Zero

DND Destroy Neighbor's Data

DNPG Do Not Pass Go

DO Divide and Overflow

DO Divide and Overflow [IBM PC]

DOC Drive Operator Crazy

DOV Divide and OVerflow

DP Destroy Peripherals

DPC Decrement Program Counter

DPCS Decrement Program Counter Secretly

DPK Destroy storage Protect Key

DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent

DPN Double Precision No-op

DPR Destroy PRogram

DPS Disable Power Supply

DR Detach Root

DRAF DRAw Flowchart

DRAM Decrement RAM

DRBA Deposit Round-off in my Bank Account

DRD DRop Dead

DRI Disable Random Interrupt

DROM Destroy ROM

DRT Disconnect Random Terminal

DS Deadlock System

DSD Dismount System Disk

DSI Do Something Interesting

DSO Disable System Operator

DSP Degrade System Performance

DSR Detonate Status Register

DSTD Do Something Totally Different

DSUIT Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible

DT%FFP DecTape \(em unload and Flappa FlaP

DT%SHO DecTape \(em Spin Hubs Opposite

DTB Destructively Test Bit

DTC Destroy This Command

DTE Decrement Telephone Extension

DTI Do The Impossible

DTRT Do The Right Thing

DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left

DU Dump User

DUD Do Until Dead

DW Destroy World

DWIM Do What I Mean

DWIT Do What I'm Thinking

DWIW Do What I Want

EA Enable Anything

EAC Emulate Acoustic Coupler

EAL Enable AC to Logic rack

EAO Enable AC to Operator

EBB Edit and Blank Buffer

EBB Empty Bit Bucket

EBR Erase Before Reading

EBRS Emit Burnt Resistor Smell

EC Eat Card

ECF Explode and Catch Fire

ECL Early Care Lace

ECO Electrocute Computer Operator

ECP Erase Card Punch

ED Eject Disk

ED Execute Data

EDD Eat Disk and Die

EDIT Erase Data and Increment Time

EDP Emulate Debugged Program

EDR Emit Deadly Radiation

EDR Execute Destructive Read

EDS Execute Data Segment

EEOIFNO Execute Every Other Instruction From Now On

EEP Erase Entire Program

EFB Emulate Five-volt Battery

EFD Eject Floppy Disk

EFD Emulate Frisbee using Disk pack

EFE Emulate Fatal Error

EHC Emulate Headless Chicken

EIA Elvis Is Alive

EIAO Execute In Any Order

EIO Erase I/O page

EIO Execute Invalid Op-code

EIO Execute Invalid Opcode

EIOC Execute Invalid Op-Code

EJD EJect Disk

EJD%V EJect Disk \(em with initial velocity V

ELP Enter Loop Permenantly

EM EMulate 407

EM Evacuate Memory

EMIF Erase Most Important File

EMM Emulate More Memory

EMPC EMulate Pocket Calculator

EMSE Edit and Mark Something Else

EMSL Entire Memory Shift Left

EMT Electrocute Maintenance Technician

EMW Emulate Maytag Washer

ENA ENable Anything

ENE ENable Everything

END Erase Neighbor's Data

ENF Emit Noxious Fumes

ENG ENable Gravity

ENO Emulate No-Op

EO Electrocute Operator

EOB Execute Operator and Branch

EOI Explode On Interrupt

EOS Erase Operating System

EP Execute Programmer

EPD Explode Peripheral Device

EPI Execute Programmer Immediate

EPITS Execute Previous Instruction Then Skip

EPL Emulate Phone Line

EPP Eject Printer Paper

EPS Electrostatic Print and Smear

EPS Execute Program Sideways

EPSW Execute Program Status Word

EPT Erase Process Table

EPT Erase Punched Tape

ERIC Eject Random Integrated Circuit

ERM Erase Reserved Memory

EROM Erase Read-Only Memory

EROS Erase Read-Only Storage

EROS Erase Read-Only Storage [Everex int]

ERS Erase Read-only Storage

ESB Eject Selectric Ball

ESC Emulate System Crash

ESD Eject Spinning Dish

ESL Exceed Speed of Light

ESP Enable SPrinkler system

ETI Execute This Instruction

ETM Emulate Trinary Machine

ETPH E. T. Phone Home

EVC Execute Verbal Commands

EWD Enter Warp Drive

EWM Enter Whimsy Mode

EXB EXcrement and Branch

EXE EXecute Engineer

EXI EXecute Invalid operation

EXO EXecute Operator

EXOP EXecute OPerator

EXP EXecute Programmer

EXPP EXecute Political Prisoner

FAY Fetch Amulet of Yendor

FB Find Bugs

FC Fry Console

FCJ Feed Card and Jam

FCJ Feed Cards and Jam

FD Forget Data

FDR Feed Disk Randomly

FERA Forms Eject and Run Away

FFF Form Feed Forever

FLD FLing Disk

FLI Flash Lights Impressively

FM Forget Memory

FMP Finish My Program

FOPC False Out-of-Paper Condition

FPC Feed Paper Continuously

FPT Fire Photon Torpedoes

FRG Fill with Random Garbage

FRS Fetch Ring of Sauron

FS Feign Sleep

FSM Fold, Spindle, and Mutilate

FSR Form Skip and Runaway

FSRA Forms Skip and Run Away

FYBR Follow Yellow Brick Road

GAP Grade All Projects

GBB Go to Back of Bus

GCAR Get Correct Answer Regardless

GCR Generate Confusing Results

GDP Grin Defiantly at Programmer

GDR Grab Degree and Run

GENT GENerate Thesis

GEW{JO} Go to the End of the World {Jump Off}

GFD Go Forth and Divide

GFM Go Forth and Multiply

GIE Generate Irreversible Error

GL Get Lost

GLC Generate Lewd Comment

GMC Generate Machine Check

GMCC Generate Machine Check and Cash

GND Guess at Next Digit

GORS GO Real Slow

GPCR Generate Petty Cache Request

GR Get Real

GREM Generate Random Error Message

GREP Global Ruin, Expiration, and Purgation

GRMC Generate Rubber Machine Check

GS Get Strange

GSB Gulp and Store Bytes

GSI Generate Spurious Interrupts

GSU Geometric Shift Up

GTJ Go To Jail

HAC Hold All Calls

HACF Halt And Catch Fire

HAH Halt And Hang

HBW Hang Bus and Wait

HCF Halt and Catch Fire

HCP Hide Central Processor

HCRS Hang in CRitical Section

HDH Hi Dee Ho

HDO Halt and Disable Operator

HDRW Halt and Display Random Word

HELP Hinder Everyone with Little Productivity

HELP Type 'No Help Available'

HEO Halt and Execute Operator

HF Hide File

HGD Halt, Get Drunk

HHB Halt and Hang Bus

HIS Halt in Imposible State

HOO Hide Operator's Output

HRPR Hang up and Ruin Printer Ribbon

HSC Halt on System Crash

HSJ Halt, Skip and Jump

HTC Halt and Toss Cookies

HTS Halt and Throw Sparks

HUAL Halt Until After Lunch

HUP Hang Up Phone

HWP Halt Without Provocation

IA Illocical And

IAE Ignore All Exceptions

IAI Inquire And Ignore

IAND Illogical AND

IAR Ignore All Requests

IB Insert Bug

IBM Increment and Branch to Muncee

IBP Insert Bug and Proceed

IBR Insert Bugs at Random

ICB Interrupt, Crash and Burn

ICM Immerse Central Memory

ICMD Initiate Core Melt Down

ICR Incur Costly Repair [Sun Tempest]

ICSP Invert Crt Screen Picture

IDC Initiate Destruct Command

IDI Invoke Divine Intervention

IDNOP InDirect No-OP

IDPS Ignore Disk Protect Switch

IEOF Ignore End Of File

IF Invoke Force

IGI Increment Grade Immediate

IGIT Increment Grade Immediate Twice

IGO Increment Grade Overnight

IHC Initiate Head Crash

IHTFP Increment Hormones, Test For Puberty

II Inquire and Ignore

IIB Ignore Inquiry and Branch

IIC Insert Invisible Characters

IIL Irreversable Infinite Loop

IM Imagine Memory

IMBP Insert Mistake and Blame Programmer

IMP Imitate Monty Python

IMPG IMPress Girlfriend

IMV IMpress Visitors

INCAM INCrement Arbitrary Memory

ING INquire and iGnore

INI Ignore Next Instruction

INOP Indirect No-OP

INR INstigate Rumor

INW INvalidate Warranty

IOI Ignore Operator's Instruction

IOR Illogical OR

IOS Ignore Operating System

IP Increment and Pray

IPI Ignore Previous Instruction

IPM Ignore Programmer's Mistakes

IPOP Interrupt Processor, Order Pizza

IPS Incinerate Power Supply

IPS Increment Power Supply

IPT Ignite Paper Tape

IRB Invert Record and Branch

IRBI Insert Random Bits Indexed

IRC Insert Random Commands

IRE Insert Random Errors

IRI Ignore Rude Interrupts

IRPF Infinite Recursive Page Fault

ISC Ignore Supervisor Calls

ISC Ignore System Crash

ISC Insert Sarcastic Comments

ISI Increment and Skip on Inifinity

ISP Increment and Skip on Pi

ISTK Invert STacK

ITML Initiate Termites into Macro Library

IU Ignore User[s]

IXOR Illogical eXclusive OR

IZ Ignore Zeroes

JAA Jump Almost Always

JBS Jump and Blow Stack

JCI Jump to Current Instruction

JFM Jump on Full Moon

JHRB Jump to H&R Block

JLP Jump and Lose Pointer

JLR Jump and Lose Return

JMAT JuMp on Alternate Thursdays

JN Jump to Nowhere

JNL Jump when programmer is Not Looking

JOB Jump On Beaver

JOM Jump Out of Memory

JOM Jump Over Moon

JOP Jump OPerator

JPA Jump when Pizza Arrives

JRAN Jump RANdom

JRCF Jump Relative and Catch Fire

JRGA Jump Relative and Get Arrested

JRL Jump to Random Location

JRSR Jump to Random SubRoutine

JSC Jump on System Crash

JSOR Jump Somewhere Over Rainbow

JSU Jump Self Unconditional

JT Jump if Tuesday

JTT Jump and Tangle Tape

JTZ Jump to Twilight Zone

JWN Jump When Necessary

KCE Kill Consultant on Error

KCE Kill repairman [CE]

KDO Knock Disk Over

KEPITU Kill Every Process In The Universe

KOP Kill OPerator

KP Krunch Paper

KPR Kill PRogrammer

KSR Keyboard Shift Right

KUD Kill User's Data

KWWE Kill Wicked Witch of East

KWWW Kill Wicked Witch of West

LAC Lose All Communication

LAGW Load And Go Wrong

LAP Laugh At Program

LAP Laugh At Programmer

LCC Load and Clear Core

LCD Launch Cartridge Disk

LCK Lock Console Keyswitch

LEB Link Edit Backwards

LIA Load Ineffective Address

LMB Lose Message and Branch

LMO Load and Mug Operator

LMYB Logical MaYBe

LN Lose inode Number

LNP Load N digits of Pi

LOSM Log Off System Manager

LP%PAS Line Printer \(em Print And Smear

LP%RDD Line Printer \(em Reverse Drum Direction

LP%TCR Line Printer \(em Tangle and Chew Ribbon

LPA Lead Programmer Astray

LPRTC Load Program counter from Real Time Clock

LR Load Revolver

LRA Load RetroActively

LRB Lose Record and Branch

LRD Load Random Data

LSPSW Load and Scramble PSW

LTS Link To Sputnik

LTS Loop Till Smokes

LUM LUbricate Memory

LWE Load WhatEver

LWM Load Write-only Memory

MAB Melt Address Bus

MAN Make Animal Noises

MAZ Multiply Answer by Zero

MBC Make Batch Confetti

MBF Multiply and Be Fruitful

MBH Memory Bank Hold-up

MBTD Mount Beatles on Tape Drive

MBTOL Move Bug To Operator's Lunch

MC Move Continuous

MD Move Devious

MDB Move and Drop Bits

MDC Make Disk Crash

MDDHAF Make Disk Drive Hop Across Floor

MFO Mount Female Operator

MILI Move It or Lose It

MLB Memory Left shift and Branch

MLP Make Lousy Program

MLP Multiply and Lose Precision

MLR Move and Lose Record

MMF Melt Main Frame

MMLG Make Me Look Good

MNI Misread Next Instruction

MOG Make Operator Growl

MOP Modify Operator's Personality

MPLP Make Pretty Light Pattern

MRZ Make Random Zap

MSGD Make Screen Go Dim

MSP Mistake Sign for Parity

MSPI Make Sure Plugged In

MSR Melt Special Register

MST Mount Scotch Tape

MTE Mangle Tape on Exit

MTI Make Tape Invalid

MUG Make Ugly Graphics

MUM Multi-Use Mnemonics

MW Malfunction Whenever

MW Multiply Work

MWC Move and Wrap Core

MWT Malfunction Without Telling

NBC Negate By Clearing

NCW Notch Carriage and Way

NMI Negate Most Integers

NOP Needlessly Omit Pointer

NPC Normalize Program Counter

NPN No Program Necessary [VAX]

NTGH Not Tonight, i've Got a Headache

OBB Overflow Bit Bucket

OCF Open Circular File

OMC Obscene Message to Console

OMC Overheat Memory Chip

OML Obey Murphy's Laws

OPI Order Pizza Immediately

OPP Order Pizza for Programmer

OSI Overflow Stack Immediate

OSI Overflow Stack Indefinite

OSP Open Six-Pack

OTL Out To Lunch

OU Offend User

P$*! Punch Obscenity

PA Punch in ASCII

PAL Pack And Leave

PAS Print And Smear

PAUD PAUse Dramatically

PAZ Pack Alpha Zone

PAZ Pack Alpha and drop Zones

PBC Print and Break Chain

PBD Print and Break Drum

PBL Pack Bags and Leave

PBM Pop Bubble Memory

PBPBPBP Place Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag Please

PBST Play Batch mode Star Trek

PCB Pause for Coffee Break

PCD PunCh Disk

PCI Pleat Cards Immediate

PCR Print and Cut Ribbon

PCS Push to Centre of Stack

PD Play Dead

PD Punch Disk

PDLD Power Down and Lock Door [to computer room]

PDSK Punch DiSK

PEHC Punch Extra Holes in Cards

PEP Print on Edge of Paper

PFD Punt on Fourth Down

PFE Print Floating Eye

PFML Print Four Million Lines

PG Print Garbage

PHO Pull Hair Out

PI Punch Invalid

PIBM Pretend to be an IBM

PIC Print Illegible Characters

PIC Print Invalid Character

PIC Punch Invalid Character

PLSC Perform Light Show on Console

PNIH Place Needle In Haystack

PNRP Print Nasty Replies to Programmer

PO Punch Operator

POCL Punch Out Console Lights

POG Print Only Greek

POP Pop Or Push

POPI Punch OPerator Immediate

POPN Punch OPerator's Nose

PPA Print Paper Airplanes

PPC Purge Pascal Compiler [HP 3000]

PPL Perform Perpetual Loop

PPP Print Programmer's Picture

PPR Play Punk Rock

PPSW Pack Program Status Word

PPSW Pack Progran Status Word

PRS PRint and Smear

PSP Print and Shred Paper

PSR Print and Shred Ribbon

PTP Produce Toilet Paper

PUO Perform Unknown Operation

PVLC Punch Variable Length Card

PWP Print Without Paper

PWS create PoWer Surge

PYS Program YourSelf

QBDH Quit and Become a DeadHead

QWYA Quit While Your Ahead

RA Randomize Answer

RAM Randomly Access Memory

RAM Read Ambiguous Memory

RAN RANdom opcode [similar to 16-bit what gate]

RASC Read And Shred Card

RAST Read And Shred Tape

RAU Ridicule All Users

RBAO Ring Bell and Annoy Operator

RBLY Restore Back-up from Last Year

RBT Read Blank Tape

RBT Rewind and Break Tape

RC Rewind Core

RCAJ Read Card And Jam

RCB Read Command Backwards

RCB Run Clock Backwards

RCC Read Card and Chew

RCCP Randomly Corrupt Current Process

RCF Rewind Cabinet Fans

RCKG Read Count Key and Garbage

RCL Rotate Carry Left

RCP Reschedule Car Payments

RCR Rewind Card Reader

RCRV Randomly Convert to Reverse Video

RCS Read Card and Scramble data

RCSD Read Card and Scramble Data

RD Randomize Data

RD Reverse Directions

RDA Refuse to Disclose Answer

RDB Replace Database with Blanks

RDB Run Disk Backwards

RDD Reverse Disk Drive

RDDBF Rock Disk Drive Back and Forth

RDEB Read and Drop Even number of Bits

RDF Randomize Directory Filenames

RDI Reverse Drum Immediate

RDI Reverse Drun Immediate

RDI Rewind Disk Immediate

RDR Reverse Disk Rotation

RDS ReaD Sideways

RENVR REName Variables Randomly

RET Read and Erase Tape

RF Read Fingerprints

RG Record Garbage

RHNEZ Randomize and Halt if Not Equal to Zero

RHO Randomize and Hold all Output

RIC Rotate Illogical thru Carry

RID Read Invalid Data

RIG Read Inter-record Gap

RIOP Rotate I/O Ports

RIR Read Invalid Record

RIRG Read Inter-Record Gap

RJE Return Jump and Explode

RLC Relocate and Lose Core

RLC Reread Last Card

RLC Rotate Left with Carolyn

RLI Rotate Left Indefinitely

RLP Refill Light Pen

RLP Rewind Line Printer

RM Ruin My files

RMI Randomize Memory Immediate

RMM Read Manager's Mind

RMT ReMove Trap

RMV Remove Memory Virtues

RN Read Noise

RNBS Reflect Next Bus Signal

RNR Read Noise Record

ROC Randomize Op Codes

ROC Rotate Outward from Center

ROD ROtate Diagonally

ROM Read Operator's Mind

ROO Rub Out Operator

ROOP Run Out Of Paper

ROPF Read Other People's Files

ROS Reject Operating System

ROS Return On Shield

RP Read Printer

RPB Raise Parity Bits

RPB Read Print and Blush

RPB Reverse Parity and Branch

RPBR Reverse Parity and BRanch

RPC Rotate Program Counter

RPM Read Programmer's Mind

RPU Read character and Print Upsidedown

RRC Rotate Random thru Carry

RRR Randomly Rotate Register

RRR Read Record and Run away

RRR Read Record and Run-away

RRRL Random Rotate Register Left

RRRR Random Rotate Register Right

RRSTC Return on Ruby Slippers Triple-Click

RRT Record and Rip Tape

RS Random Slew

RSD on Read error Self-Destruct

RST Rewind and Stretch Tape

RSTOM Read from STore-Only Memory

RT Reduce Throughput

RTP Reduce ThroughPut

RTS Return To Sender

RVAC Return from VACation

RWC ReWind and Crash heads

RWCR ReWind Card Reader

RWD ReWind Disk

RWE Run Without Error

RWF Read Wrong File

RWT Read/Write while stretching Tape

SA Store Anywhere

SAD Search And Destroy

SAI Skip All Instructions

SAK Snooze At Keyboard

SAS Show Appendix Scar

SAS Sit And Spin

SBE Swap Bits Erratically

SBF Skip on Bitbucket Full

SC Scramble Channels

SC Shred Cards

SCB Spindle Card and Belch

SCCA Short Circuit on Correct Answer

SCD Shuffle and Cut Dec

SCH Slit Cards Horizontal

SCI Shred Cards Immediate

SCM Set for Crash Mode

SCOM Set Cobol-Only Mode

SCP SCatter Printer

SCRRC SCRamble Register Contents

SCST Switch Channel to Star Trek

SCTR Stick Card To Reader

SD Scramble Directory

SD Slip Disk

SDC Spool Disk to Console

SDD Seek and Destroy Data

SDD Spin Disk Dry

SDDB Snap Disk Drive Belt

SDE Solve Differential Equations

SDI Self Destruct Immediate

SDM Search and Destroy Memory

SDR Slam Down Rondo [worst soda ever made]

SEB Stop Eating and Burp

SEOB Set Every Other Bit

SESUR Sing Elvis Songs Until he Returns

SEX Set EXecution register

SEX Sign EXtend

SFH Set Flags to Half-mast

SFP Send For Pizza

SFR Send For Reinforcements

SFT Stall For Time

SFTT Strip Form Tractor Teeth

SHAB SHift A Bit

SHABM SHift A Bit More

SHB Stop and Hang Bus

SHCD SHuffle Card Deck

SHON Simulate HONeywell CPU [permanent no-op]

SHR SHift Random

SHRC SHRed Card

SHRT SHRed Tape

SID Switch to Infinite Density

SIP Store Indefinite Precision

SJV Scramble Jump Vectors

SLP Sharpen Light Pen

SMC Scramble Memory Contents

SMD Spontaneous Memory Dump

SMR Skip on Meaningless Result

SMS Shred Mylar Surface

SNARF System Normalize And Reset Flags

SNM Show No Mercy

SNO Send Nukes on Overflow

SOAWP SOlve All the World'd Problems

SOB Stew On Brew

SOD Surrender Or Die

SOL Shift On Low

SOP Stop and Order Pizza

SOS Sign Off, Stupid

SOT Sit On a Tack

SP Scatter Print

SPA Sliding Point Arithmetic

SPB Simulate Peanut Butter

SPD SPin Disk

SPS Set Panel Switches

SPSW Scramble Program Status Word

SQPWYC Sit Quietly and Play With Your Crayons

SRBO Set Random Bits to Ones

SRBZ Set Random Bits to Zeroes

SRC Select Random Channel

SRC Select Reader and Chew cards

SRCC Select Reader and Chew Cards

SRD Switch to Random Density

SRDR Shift Right Double Ridiculous

SRO Sort with Random Ordering

SROS Store in Read-Only Storage

SRR Shift Registers Random

SRSD Seek Record and Scar Disk

SRSD Seek Record and Scratch Disk

SRTC Stop Real-Time Clock

SRU Signoff Random User

SRZ Subtract and Reset to Zero

SSB Scramble Status Byte

SSD Scratch System Disk

SSD Stacker Select Disk

SSD Stop and Scratch Disk [3815]

SSJ Select Stacker and Jam

SSJP Select Stacker and JumP

SSM Solve by Supernatural Means

SSM Stacker Select Memory

SSP Seek SPindle

SSP Smoke and SPark

SST Seek and Stretch Tape

SSW Scramble Status Word

ST Set and Test

STA STore Anywhere

STC Slow To a Crawl

STD Stop, Take Drugs

STM STretch Magtape

STM Skip on Third Monday

STO Strangle Tape Operator

STPR SToP Rain

STRIKE STRIKE for more pay, better hours, etc.

STROM STore in Read-Only Memory

STTHB Set Terminal to Three Hundred Baud

SUIQ Subtract User's IQ

SUME SUprise ME

SUP Shred User Printout

SUP Solve Unsolvable Problem

SUS Stop Until Spring

SUS Subtract Until Senseless

SWAT SWAp Terminals

SWN SWap Nibbles

SWOS Store in Write-Only Storage

SWS Sort to Wrong Slots

SWT Select Wrong Terminal

SWU Select Wrong Unit

SWZN Skip Whether Zero or Not

SZD Switch to Zero Density

TAH Take A Hike

TAI Trap Absurd Inputs

TARC Take Arithmetic Review Course

TBFTG Two Burgers and Fries To Go

TC Transmit Colors

TDB Transfer and Drop Bits

TDRB Test and Destroy Random Bits

TDS Trash Data Segment

TET Triple Execution Time [SUN]

TLNF Teach me a Lesson i'll Never Forget

TLO Turn indicator Lights Off

TLW Transfer and Lose Way

TN Take a Nap

TOAC Turn Off Air Conditioner

TOG Take Out Garbage

TOG Time Out, Graduate

TOH Take Operator Hostage

TOO Turn On/off Operator

TOP Trap OPerator

TOS Trash Operating System

TOW Take Over World

TPD Terminal Printer Destruct

TPD Total Program Diagnostic

TPD Triple Pack Decimal

TPDH Tell Programmer to Do it Himself

TPF Turn Power oFf

TPN Turn Power oN

TPO Turn Power Off

TPR Tear PapeR

TR Turn into Rubbish

TRA Te Rdls Arvs [type ridiculous abbreviations]

TRD TRansfer and Drop bit

TSH Trap Secretary and Halt

TSM Trap Secretary and Mount

TST Trash System Tracks

TT%CN TeleType \(em Clunk Noise

TT%EKB TeleType \(em Electrify KeyBoard

TTA Try, Try Again

TTIHLIC Try To Imagine How Little I Care

TTITT Turn 2400 foot Tape Into Two 1200 foot Tapes

TTL Tap Trunk Line

TTL Time To Logoff

TYF Trust Your Feelings

UA Unload Accumulator

UAI Use Alternate Instruction set

UAPA(AM) Use All Power Available (And More)

UCB Uncouple CPU and Branch

UCIP Update Card In Place

UCK Unlock Console Keyswitch

UCLB Uncouple Comm Lines and Branch

UCM Uncouple CoMm lines and branch

UCPUB Uncouple CPUs and Branch

UDR Update and Delete Record

UER Update and Erase Record

UFO Unidentified Flag Operation

ULDA UnLoaD Accumulator

UMR Unlock Machine Room

UNPD UNPlug and Dump

UOP Useless OPeration

UP Understand Program[mer]

UPA Use all Power Available

UPC Understand Program[mer]'s Comments

UPI Undo Previous Instruction

URB Update, Resume and Branch

UTF Unwind Tape onto Floor

UTF Use The Force

UUBR Use Undefined Base Register

VAX Violate All eXecutions

VFE Violate Field Engineer

VFO Violate Female Operator

VMA Violate Maintenance Agreement

VNO Violate Noise Ordinance

VPA Vanishing Point Arithmetic

VVM Vaporize Virtual Memory

WAD Walk Away in Disgust

WAT WAste Time

WBB Write to the Bit Bucket

WBT Water Binary Tree

WC Waste Core

WCR Write to Card Reader

WDR Warp disk DRive

WED Write and Erase Data

WEMG Write Eighteen Minute Gap

WF Wait Forever

WGPB Write Garbage in Process-control Block

WHFO Wait until Hell Freezes Over

WHP Wave Hands over Program

WI Why Immediate

WI Write Illegibly

WID Write Invalid Data

WMC Write Millions of Comments

WNAM We Need A Miracle

WNHR Write New Hit Record

WNR Write Noise Record

WP Write Poop

WPET Write Past End of Tape

WPM Write Programmer's Mind

WSE Write Stack Everywhere

WSWW Work in Strange and Wondrous Ways

WUPO Wad Up Printer Output

WWLR Write Wrong Length Record

WWR Write Wrong Record

XXIO eXecute Invalid Opcode

XXKF eXecute Kermit the Frog

XXM eXclusive Maybe

XXMB eXclusive MayBe

XXOH eXecute no-Op and Hang

XXOR eXecute OpeRator

XXOS eXchange Operator's Sex

XXPR eXecute PRogrammer

XXPSW eXecute Program Status Word

XXSP eXecute Systems Programmer

XXVF eXchange Virtue for Fun

YAB Yet Another Bug

YASE Yet Another Stupid Error

ZAP Zero and Add Packed

ZAR Zero Any Register

ZD Zap Directory

ZEOW Zero Every Other Word

ZPI ZaP Immediate