Ad Jokes

These are supposedly actual classified ads that have appeared in various papers across the world.


FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50


NORDIC TRACK $300 - HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE at:


BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING - "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"


SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS


HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"


PRESIDENT'S CHOICE - COW MANURE - 2 33lb bags - $5


HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB


GEORGIA PEACHES - CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.


NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE - SLIGHTLY STAINED